Dating and relating book
See if you can feel in your body a sense of wanting to know, and what it is you might want to know.Allow their answers to guide your next questions, rather than having a stock list of questions you might think are interesting to know.Generally, our authentic self is what the people who are really right for us are going to be attracted to; so, giving space for both our date and ourselves to bring that out early on is going to allow us to quickly see what the possibilities are between us.Before we go too much further into these games though, I would like to define what I consider a “date.” To me, a date is nothing more than an intentional meeting between two individuals with the potential for romance.We play Curiosity by first introducing it to our date.For me, I’ve done a lot of work to cultivate my curiosity, so I tend to already be asking questions, even somewhat edgy questions, from very early on.With Curiosity, we take this impulse to learn about each other and make it intentional and explicit, which allows us to increase the amount of vulnerability arising in the space between us.
Don’t be think about the time the same thing happened to you, or how you agree or disagree with what they are saying, and so on.
There are so many potential pressures, assumptions, and expectations that can be brought into a date that can cause strained and awkward interactions.
We may be trying to appear our best for the other person, even to the point of somewhat hiding who we really are—which is going to lead to problems.
Being within the construct of a game is a fun opportunity to push those edges just a bit and expand our capacity to be with the intense sensations of vulnerability and intimacy.
The other guideline I recommend for the questioner is to follow a thread of curiosity.